I dreamt I went to a gym to swim laps in their pool. The gym was a wooden chalet like structure, you entered on a second level bridge with a piercing blue pool on either side of it, one floor down. It smelled of cedar and was quiet despite so many people being there. I asked to swim. I had to wait. Fast forward and I am putting street clothes back on and my chest is bleeding through my shirt, skin cut by something. I can see it from someone else’s perspective as it stains my white eyelet shirt.  I leave the gym. The dream becomes cloudy, more happens, I wake up.

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I have had two conversations about spirituality with two different people today. Neither knew of the other. Both questioned positive and negative (or in their words “good” and “evil”) energies in their lives, what they attract. Their sudden interests in this surprise me a bit, both come from Catholic upbringings, one a lapsed believer and one who turns to prayer during hard times. I sense some meaning in their interest and their pointed conversations with me, some meaning that I cannot quite discern.

So I came home and researched online.  Recently my research has led me to hermeticism, divination, and the Upanishads.  Coming from a Catholic background myself I occasionally run into feelings of disobediance, like I am walking into a dark side of life.  I assume this comes from Catholic views on divination, from a time when I was younger and a neighbor’s mother read my tarot cards and I went home and told my parents and they told me that it was a sin and related to the devil.  It scared me.

Nowadays my interpretation of spirituality runs in the gray area.  I believe I face positive and negative energies, that I recieve energy and have energy taken from me. I do not believe there is one prophet or ‘God’ that should be my guide. Understanding the self, listening to the body, both are my best directors.  Divination seems to be a tool, not for fortune telling, but for meditation, a way to process a question similar to brainstorming.  Negative connotations kept me away before, but in looking into definitions, origins, and practices I can see that there is some simple practical, non-hocus pocus non-jibbery jabber truth to it.

I came across One Little Angel in the process of research. Combining images, quotes, concepts, and meditation from various sources, it seems a good direction to head.